I love nothing more than seeing couples work hard and sort their stuff out. Few things encourage me more than seeing a broken bitter marriage turned around. Where there has been no intimacy to see a couple connect and communicate – really talk…is such a joy. To see sexless relationships rediscover their passion, hopeless marriages find hope and sterile relationships become fertile. This is why I do what I do.
But this week is a crap week. Long term client is finally in court today working out the divorce split. Another couple finalise their divorce on Thursday and tomorrow I help a soon to be single mum work out her separation details. These three make me face the brutal statistics of marriage in Queensland. ABS stat’s are as follows:
Just fewer than 50 000divorces registered in 2011. Compare this with the 121 752 marriages that take place. Not great odds!! About 40%.
In the next while I want to talk about something: How can we change these statistics???
Here’s a fact. I have never (that’s 0%) had a couple come to therapy and work at their marriage and fail. Never! So what’s different between them and the other 50 000 who fail every year? I would love your comments.
27/05/2013
I think it’s a really good question to ask. Maybe, between the statistics which paint a bleak picture of not a lot of hope for marriage and therefore the many lives affected by break-up, there is possibility for some sort of difference.
My experience is that if people at least find out why things are going so badly, then maybe they have a chance to decide whether they want to do something about it rather than the alternative, which is expensive and that’s not just financially.
28/05/2013
The stats are sad but I agree that the privilege of seeing couples resolve long term issues is one of the most exciting things that can happen. Have you read Love and Respect by Emersen Eggrichs? I have found the principles excellent. Michelle Crummer
29/05/2013
It is sad to see the statistics for divorce are so high. As a divorcee I have seen the devastation it has caused my family for the last 16 years and the pain my children still feel, even after all this time.
I do believe there are circumstances where there is no alternative, but I would encourage you, if at all possible, to do the hard yards to heal and restore your marriage – it will be so worth it.
I urge you to consider the following: hard work for a short time to restore your marriage to a happy and healthy relationship where the family will flourish, or devastation and pain for years, the brunt of which the children will bear……worth some serious thought!
Aunt B
29/08/2013
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